All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
