Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
