U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
