i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
