I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
