I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize