i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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