Please, let me fuck your mom
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
