It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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