that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
