peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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