easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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