i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This is my gift to your gina
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
