im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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