oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
