So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
