there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just want to make out with him forever
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
