the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
