69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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