it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There's a naked man in my car right now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
