thus making me awesome and them whores
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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