I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
