First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
