i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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