And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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