just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
