She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
