remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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