I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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