haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
