Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.

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  (501): My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship. http://tfl.nu/h697
  Replies (56) Good night (769) Bad night (4801)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Odds of those being real?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  One in who gives a fuck

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  (202): Odds of those being real? (614): One in who gives a fuck http://tfl.nu/agkd
  Replies (91) Good night (4887) Bad night (597)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash

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  (204): My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash http://tfl.nu/m3vz
  Replies (15) Good night (7580) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

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  (803): just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car http://tfl.nu/l192
  Replies (191) Good night (16040) Bad night (2302)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.

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  (785): My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/kbij
  Replies (25) Good night (5336) Bad night (1664)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade

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  (630): I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade http://tfl.nu/zmei
  Replies (22) Good night (4554) Bad night (1699)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit

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  (405): You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit http://tfl.nu/wkkh
  Replies (8) Good night (2244) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible

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  (816): I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible http://tfl.nu/v92i
  Replies (3) Good night (2271) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying

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  (717): best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying http://tfl.nu/r0td
  Replies (15) Good night (650) Bad night (2087)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?

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  (703): you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat? http://tfl.nu/6p3h
  Replies (8) Good night (833) Bad night (1704)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.

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  (512): While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before. http://tfl.nu/erll
  Replies (7) Good night (1880) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.

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  (610): I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with. http://tfl.nu/uzcd
  Replies (7) Good night (1295) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.

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  (651): First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos. http://tfl.nu/tzt2
  Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me

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  (412): I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me http://tfl.nu/nb8z
  Replies (1) Good night (200) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom

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  (519): don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom http://tfl.nu/zs1y
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (212)

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