I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.