Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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(516): the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice" http://tfl.nu/bgbh

Replies (18) Good night (3996) Bad night (1016)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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(502): everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person http://tfl.nu/7xqj

Replies (37) Good night (1011) Bad night (2229)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

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(704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass. http://tfl.nu/jig4

Replies (18) Good night (5513) Bad night (714)
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(302): View more from Delaware

They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not

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(302): They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not http://tfl.nu/juyk

Replies (12) Good night (1192) Bad night (4426)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.

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(414): Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover. http://tfl.nu/mgun

Replies (4) Good night (3067) Bad night (900)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it

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(402): You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day (1-402): If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it http://tfl.nu/wdhm

Replies (12) Good night (4983) Bad night (1304)
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(817): View more from Texas

Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3

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(817): Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3 http://tfl.nu/4ua9

Replies (10) Good night (3323) Bad night (1054)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...

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(603): Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa (603): I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel... http://tfl.nu/ns98

Replies (11) Good night (3454) Bad night (1008)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?

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(540): The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad? http://tfl.nu/48x6

Replies (21) Good night (1151) Bad night (4740)
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(845): View more from New York

You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you

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(845): You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you http://tfl.nu/77ha

Replies (14) Good night (1533) Bad night (811)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.

(613): View more from Ontario

The fuck? Where?

(226): View more from Ontario

St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.

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(226): I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy. (613): The fuck? Where? (226): St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/bh0m

Replies (8) Good night (892) Bad night (327)
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(512): View more from Texas

it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house

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(512): it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house http://tfl.nu/35q8

Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (308)
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(913): View more from Kansas

speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?

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(913): speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall? http://tfl.nu/3y98

Replies (1) Good night (760) Bad night (267)
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(386): View more from Florida

i think my cat just said my name.

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(386): i think my cat just said my name. http://tfl.nu/zcy1

Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (174)
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(516): View more from New York

it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism

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(516): it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism http://tfl.nu/zkif

Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (174)

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