Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off http://tfl.nu/w0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers. http://tfl.nu/bvxk
  Replies (21) Good night (4438) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work. http://tfl.nu/5w8x
  Replies (16) Good night (2380) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america. http://tfl.nu/xe1m
  Replies (7) Good night (2856) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight. http://tfl.nu/8i8j
  Replies (12) Good night (935) Bad night (3619)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going http://tfl.nu/ebwx
  Replies (6) Good night (1127) Bad night (2741)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar http://tfl.nu/vsuv
  Replies (1) Good night (2874) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos. http://tfl.nu/skqb
  Replies (1) Good night (1483) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies? http://tfl.nu/dbdn
  Replies (9) Good night (1929) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett. http://tfl.nu/f5z3
  Replies (10) Good night (1521) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear

  (310): View more from California

  We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear (310): We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics. http://tfl.nu/35z2
  Replies (6) Good night (1309) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase. http://tfl.nu/fzjk
  Replies (9) Good night (1005) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out... http://tfl.nu/c4rq
  Replies (0) Good night (332) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%. http://tfl.nu/pc4l
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding? http://tfl.nu/e1mv
  Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (180)

Randomize