worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
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It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sorry about my life...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?