i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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