how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
where am i from again
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.