There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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