Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

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(865): Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010. http://tfl.nu/w6c7

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(702): View more from Nevada

explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.

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(702): explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now. http://tfl.nu/gc18

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(845): View more from New York

i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

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(845): i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room http://tfl.nu/beeq

Replies (13) Good night (871) Bad night (3366)
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(815): View more from Illinois

No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.

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(815): No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official. http://tfl.nu/00ts

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(404): View more from Georgia

YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!

(678): View more from Georgia

correction: escorted out

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(404): YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?! (678): correction: escorted out http://tfl.nu/gkul

Replies (23) Good night (5094) Bad night (833)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.

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(502): Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication. http://tfl.nu/d8fz

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(302): View more from Delaware

She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"

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(302): She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!" http://tfl.nu/kmdw

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(207): View more from Maine

Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.

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(207): Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin. http://tfl.nu/qu7f

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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(414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud

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(248): View more from Michigan

The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children

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(248): The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children http://tfl.nu/7xpu

Replies (6) Good night (4226) Bad night (652)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot

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(304): yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot http://tfl.nu/grz5

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(613): View more from Ontario

I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero

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(613): I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero http://tfl.nu/0ytb

Replies (1) Good night (1539) Bad night (726)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I feel like a color. Like a wavy color

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(913): I feel like a color. Like a wavy color http://tfl.nu/hgij

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(818): View more from California

Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.

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(818): Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle. http://tfl.nu/73xi

Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (221)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.

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(860): Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers. http://tfl.nu/ep00

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