Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
