why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
