kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
