direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
