Say something about gay babies.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
birth control should be required to get into college
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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