Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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