You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This is the high leading the old right now
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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