Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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