well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
