As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
