I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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