That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
