u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize