You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
