Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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