She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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