just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
