I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
