considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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