You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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