D3 body, D1 cock
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
