After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
