I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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