dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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