I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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