She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
