why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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