It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize